MUHAMMAD (s.a.w) AND HIS MARRIAGES

In Islam, marriage has been declared obligatory, and except in the case of a disability, celibacy is forbidden. Therefore, the Holy Prophet^saw states: To marry is part of my practice, and he who does not follow my practice is not of me. ¹

Holy Prophet Muhammad^saw was a human being like the rest of us. He was commanded in the Holy Quran (18:111):

Tell them: I am but a man like unto you; it is revealed to me that your God is One God. So let him who hopes to meet his Lord work righteously and let him associate no one in the worship of his Lord.

Every prophet of God is said to be a man. Each of them was a guide to his respective followers. A superhuman being cannot be a prophet that is raised for the benefits of human beings. If a prophet is superhuman, His faculties, capacities, sentiments, reactions, reflexes, and all his values would be different from those of men. Even if he could understand men in every respect, men would not be able to understand, appraise and assess him completely. Thus, being a man like unto other men, Holy Prophet Muhammad^saw was not different from them; he had similar faculties and capacities and he could understand them perfectly. So would they, if they tried being able to understand him.

It may be said that a prophet is different from other men. This is true in a certain sense, but the difference is only one of degree, and not of kind. Every human being has a distinct personality and thus differs from his fellows in certain respects. His physical and mental characteristics and equipment may differ from those of the men with whom he associates and among whom he moves about. The only specialty of a prophet in respect of which he is distinguished from other men is that he enjoys an intense degree of communion with God. But even in that respect, those who believe in him and associate with him can share with him, to a greater or lesser degree, in such communion. They can understand him perfectly. ²

In view of the above, it is expected that the Holy Prophet^saw would live his life like a man and not otherwise. And more so that Allah the Almighty Himself declares him to be one of human beings:

Surely, a Messenger has come unto you from among yourselves…

[Holy Qur’an 9:128]

One of the obligatory aspects of a man is marriage. It is this aspect of the Prophet^saw’s life that we intend to look at in this piece.

Marriage for a prophet, a law-bearing prophet, for that matter, is especially necessary, not only that he may set a model of superior domestic relations before his community, but also that his wives may facilitate the teaching of religious injunctions. The skill, by which a woman can perform the demonstration and education of affairs relevant to women, cannot be done by a man in the same way. As a matter of fact, if there is no hindrance, a prophet should, as far as possible, marry more than once, so that the task of preaching and educating can be further facilitated. Therefore, we see that a majority of the earlier prophets (on whom be peace), practised polygamy. A majority of the prophets of the Bani Isra’il were those who had more than one wife: Moses^as, David^as, Solomon^as, and several others for instance.   It is strange that the critics, especially the  Christians, accuse the Holy Prophet^saw and Muslims on account of this issue, but they do not stop to cast a glance at their own holy men, whom they believe to be the intimate and chosen messengers of God. Similarly, the prophets of other nations also practised polygamy. Therefore, it is the custom of prophets (on whom be peace) to marry, and if possible, more than once.³ Therefore, if anyone intends to look at the married life of the Holy prophet^saw, it is through the above lens that it should be viewed.

However, when some not well informed people hear that the prophet had many wives they conclude without much thought that the prophet was a sensuous man. They would say that the Holy Prophet^saw was a womanizer, and objections are raised against his marriages. Allah the Almighty knew, however, that such allegations and questions would be raised in the future and so facilitated such incidents which provide the rebuttal to these allegations.⁴

The number of the Prophet^saw’s wives remains controversial as the circumstances through which he married them. Some writers record his wives to be eleven, some twelve, some thirteen and some even more. Whereas, in pre-Islamic Arabia, there was no limitation on the number of wives one may have, but Muhammad^saw, prior to his ministry maintained a monogamous relationship with his wife Khadija^rd, while the norm was to have many. With the dawn of Islam, the number came to be limited to four. However, Muhammad^saw, according to Quranic injunction was permitted more due to his status as a Prophet; while history also tells that most of his marriages were of a political nature, to cement political alliances⁵ and for the removal of social stigmas the then society had placed on some particular classes of women.

Allah the Almighty says in chapter 33 verse number 51:

O Prophet! We have made lawful to thee thy wives whom thou has paid their dowries, and those whom thy right hand possesses from among those whom Allah has given thee as gains of war, and the daughters of thy paternal uncle, and the daughters of thy paternal aunts, and the daughters of thy maternal uncle, and the daughters of thy maternal aunts who have emigrated with thee and any other believing woman if she offers herself for marriage to the prophet provided the prophet desires to marry her: this provision is only for thee, as against other believers- we have already made known what we have enjoined on them concerning their wives and those whom their right hands possess- in order that there may be no difficulty for thee in the discharge of thy work. And Allah is Most Forgiving, Merciful.

The first marriage of the Holy Prophet^saw was solemnized when he was age 25. He remained with only one wife, Hadhrat Khadijah^ra, who was 15years older, for the next 25years after which the holy consort Khadijah^rd passed on. The Prophet^saw was 50 and prophethood had begun. It was only after her death that the Prophet^saw married all other wives. The first two wives married after Khadijah^rd were Hadhrat Saudah bint Zam‘ah^ra and Hadhrat Aaisha bin Abi Bakr^rd. The above quoted verse, therefore, discusses the marriages of the prophet after these two marriages. The verse refers to the three kinds of women whom the Holy Prophet^saw could marry in addition to his already wedded wives: 

1.     Women who were taken prisoner in wars against Islam;

2.     Women who had migrated to medina with the holy prophet, and

3.     A woman who should offer herself for marriage to him.

This shows that the Holy Prophet^saw’s marriages were motivated by considerations other than sensuous gratification as his ignorant and mischievous critics try to depict. Those who had left their hearths and homes for the sake of Islam and those whose husbands had been killed in wars fighting in defence of Islam had special claim on the Holy Prophet^saw’s consideration. It is in view of these considerations that he married most of his wives.⁶

Apart from the already mentioned two wives (Saudah^rd and Aa’ishah^rd), therefore, the Prophet^saw married Hafsah^rd whose husband was killed in the battle of Badr, Zainab bint Khuzaimah^rd whose husband was killed in the battle of Uhud, Umm Salmah^rd whose husband died in 4 A.H., and Umm Habibah^rd, daughter of Abu Sufyan, who became widow in 5 or 6 A.H. (in exile in Abyssinia). He married Juwairiyyah^rd and Safiyyah^rd, both widows, in 5 A.H. and 7 A.H. respectively, seeking a union with and pacification of their tribes. It is worthy of note that a hundred families of the Bani Mustaliq were librated by Muslims when the Prophet^saw married Juwairiyyah^rd. Maimunah^rd was another widow. It is recorded that she offered herself to be married by the Prophet^saw. The Prophet^saw accepted the offer in the interest of the education and training of Muslim women. He married Zainab^rd, the divorcee of Zaid bin Haarith^rd in 5 A.H. in order to put a stop to a foolish custom prevailing among the Arabs and in order to assuage her wounded feelings as the respected lady had felt deeply humiliated at being divorced by Zaid^rd. He married Mariah^rd in 7 A.H. and thus by raising a freed slave girl to the highly eminent spiritual status of the ‘Mother of Faithful’ he gave a death blow to slavery. The Prophet^saw of Islam married all these wives between 2 A.H. and 7 A.H., a period when he was constantly engaged in active fighting and his life perpetually in danger and the fate of Islam itself hung in the balance. After this he lived for about three years as a virtual ruler of the whole of Arabia when comforts and amenities of life were at his disposal and yet he entered into no further marriage.⁷

From the above analysis, it is crystal clear that the marriages of the Holy Prophet^saw were not to satisfy any sensual desire but for the fulfillment of his prophetic assignments. All his marriages were to fulfill the responsibilities of his prophethood; to pass on Islam to the next generations as a practical legacy. By marrying these pious women, he was able to insure that the female population was adequately trained in the new religion. With his marriages he taught Muslims compassion with women and abolished certain customs, and removed the social stigmas that were so firmly attached to slaves, widows, elderly women and divorcees. To the Muslim society, he proved that there was nothing undesirable in these types of women as marriage prospects.

Most of his marriages were after migration to Medina. During those eight years he had to fight defensive wars, as mentioned earlier. He had to teach Islam, lead daily prayers, and he was spending most of his nights in prayer. If one analyzes the kind of heavy responsibilities he had during that time period, one would wonder how much time he was spending with his wives. It must also be remembered that the faith that he preached forbade intoxicants, looked unfavorably on comforts and luxuries, and that the Holy Prophet^saw’s own life was a model of simplicity and rigorous asceticism. The Holy Qur'an has inculcated the spirit that should inspire the relationship between husband and wife: ‘Of His Signs it is that He has created mates for you of your own species that you may find peace of mind through them, and He has put love and tenderness between you.’ (30:22). Then there is the admonition, ‘Consort with them graciously. Should you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good’ (4:20).

The Holy Prophet summed it up in these words, ‘The best among you is the one who treats his spouse well and in that respect I am better than all of you.’ (Tirmidhi). ⁸

An American Justice Pierre Craibites has rightly observed:

Muhammad, 1300 years ago assured to the mothers, wives, and daughters of Islam a rank and dignity not yet generally assured to women by the laws of the West.⁹

Karen Armstrong also wrote in her book Muhammad: a Prophet for our times:

The Qur’anic institution of polygamy was a piece of social legislation. It was designed not to gratify the male sexual appetite, but to correct the injustices done to widows, orphans, and other female dependants, who were especially vulnerable.¹⁰

           

What a marvelous light

            And radiance is to be found

In the life and person

Of Muhammad! Indeed this is a mine

Wonderfully rich in rubies

Of priceless worth.

Look wheresoever I may,

In the two worlds

I can absolutely find no one

With the greatness and grandeur

Of  this greatest benefactor

Of the human race.

If thou long to obtain

Deliverance from the lust

Of thy mind, then come

To include thyself

Among his devotees.

And if at all thou desire

That Allah should hold thee

Worthy of praise,

From the bottom of thy heart

Begin to sing his praises.

Of this if thou long for proof,

Become thou his admirer, and lover,

Then watch for the results,

For the life and person

Of Muhammad, in themselves,

Constitute conclusive and shining

Proof of his greatness.¹¹

Endnotes:

1. Hadhrat Mirza Bashir Ahmad, ‘The Life and Character of the Seal of the Prophets’, The Review of Religions, February 2012, vol. 107, issue two,

pp. 17

2. Zafrullah Khan, Muhammad: The Seal of Prophets, Routledge & Kegan Paul, London, 1980
3. Hadhrat Mirza Bashir Ahmad, op. cit,
4. Hadhrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad, The True Love of Holy Prophet^saw, Islam International Publications, United Kingdom, 2012, pp. 15
5.  http://www.alislam.org/egazette/articles/CONFUCIUS-BUDDHA-JESUS-  MUHAMMAD. Last date accessed: 4/12/2012 14:28:00
6.   Hadhrat Mirza Bashiruddeen Mahmud Ahmad, The Holy Quran with English Translation and Commentary, Vol. 4, Islam International Publications, United Kingdom, 1988, pp 2129-2130.
7. Ibid
8. Khaula Rehman MD, ‘Polygamy in the Holy Qur'an and the life of Holy Prophet^saw’,  The Muslim Sunrise, spring 2010, Vol. 90, issue 1
9.  Ibid
10.   Karen Armstrong, Muhammad: A Prophet for our times. Harper Collins, 2006.
11. Hadhrat Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, The Promised Messiah, ‘Light of Muhammad’, The Review of Religions, Vol. LXXXVI NO.2 February 1991, pp 36