Life of the Holy Prophetsa In Light Of the Treatment of Non-Muslims

 

Being the Text of a Lecture for 4^th Annual Jalsa Salana of Ahmadiyya Muslim Community, Cameroun

on Friday 22^nd May 2015 at Masjid Huda, Mamfe, Manyu

Verily you have in the Prophet of Allah an excellent model, for him who fears Allah and the Last Day and who remembers Allah much. [33:22]

 O ye who believe! be steadfast in the cause of Allah, bearing witness in equity; and let not a people’s enmity incite you to act otherwise than with justice. Be always just, that is nearer to righteousness. And fear Allah. Surely, Allah is aware of what you do. [5:9]

The emergence of many Jihadi groups among Muslims today has given horrible names to the most blessed of human being, Muhammad Mustapha^saw and to the final destination of religious journey- Islam. From Taliban to Al-Qaeedah, to Boko Haram, to ISIS and the rest of them; the ideology is one: the total annihilation of non-Muslims or at least those whose school of thought is different from theirs. The type, dimension and the consequences of behaviour and actions of these groups need not be reiterated here as they are always in the news. A very pertinent question here, however, is: how did the Holy Prophet Muhammad^saw treat those whose ideologies were different from his? To give answer to this question is our assignment this afternoon at this august and blessed Jalsa Salana Cameroun. And the answer will, by Allah’s Grace, be based on the intellectual and inspirational standing and guidance of his Holiness Hadhrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad^atba, Khalifatul Masih V and the worldwide Head of Ahmadiyya Muslim Community. For today he is the foremost champion of religious tolerance and an ardent promoter of human value.  In his series of Friday sermons entitled The Blessed Model and the Caricatures, he has beautifully highlighted the high moral attitude of the Holy Prophet^saw to the non-Muslims. 

The Holy Qur’an repeatedly mentions beautiful teachings of Islam pertaining to good conduct with the non-Muslims, the safeguarding of their rights, fairness and justice with them, freedom of their religion, and that there should be no coercion in matters of faith, etc. There are many such directives relating to both Muslims and non-Muslims. These are enshrined in the verses I recited at the beginning. Indeed, fighting is also permitted in certain situations. It is permitted only in the event that the enemy initiates a fight, breaches pacts, and is brutally unjust or oppressive. Even in these circumstances, no group or party of a country has the right to wage war against the oppressing party. It is up to the government to decide what to do and how to end the oppression. It is never the duty of any Jihad organization to rise and take up the task.

At the time of Holy Prophet^sa, specific situations were created for wars, which left Muslims with no choice but to fight back in defense. However, the current day Jihadi organizations, with their militant slogans and actions, without having any warrantable reasons and rightful authority, have given others the opportunity, and courage to become audacious and shameless enough to make nonsensical attacks on the holy person of Holy Prophet^sa, and they continue doing so. Whereas, the holy Prophet^sa was personification of compassion; a benefactor for humanity and a great defender of human rights who would not miss a chance to facilitate the enemy even at the time of a battle. Each step of his life, each of his deeds, in fact each moment of his life is testimony to the fact that he was an embodiment of compassion with a heart that surpassed all others in fulfilling the requisites of compassion and kindness. He did so at the time of peace, at war, at home, outside the home, in his daily routine as well as in honouring the pacts with people of other religions. He established high standards of freedom of conscience and freedom of religion and tolerance. When he entered Mecca as the great conqueror, he granted amnesty to the conquered people and gave them total freedom of religion. Thus, he established an excellent example of the Quranic injunction:

There should be no compulsion in religion. Surely, right has become distinct from wrong; so whosoever refuses to be led by those who transgress, and believes in Allah, has surely grasped a strong handle which knows no breaking. And Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.

A major blessed model that the Jihadi groups and many other Muslims of today fail to emulate in their treatment of people of other faiths and conscience.

Religion is a matter of an individual’s heart and mind. The prophet^sa only desired that people accepted the true religion and thus made their lives better both here and in the Hereafter, and tried to achieve forgiveness for themselves. However, there is no compulsion. Muhammad^sa’s life is replete with similar illuminating examples of tolerance, freedom of religion and conscience; few of which shall now be enumerated. These examples are perfect illustrations of how harshless he was in treating non-believers in his course.

The hardship and pain of the thirteen year period in Mecca after his claim of prophethood is known to all. The Prophet^sa and his Companions^ra endured great suffering and torment. They were laid on the scorching midday sand while hot stones were placed on their chests. They were flogged. Women were killed by having their legs torn apart. They were martyred. A range of tortures were inflicted on the Prophet^sa himself. At times the innards of a camel were placed on his back while he was prostrating, which would make it impossible for him to get up. During his visit to Ta’if children threw stones at him, hurled abuse at him. Their leaders kept on inciting them. His injuries made him bleed profusely from head, and his shoes were filled with blood. Then there is the incident of Sha’b Abi Talib (Valley of Abi Talib) when he, his family and his followers were held under siege for many years. They had nothing to eat or drink, and children starved. A Companion felt something soft under his feet at night which he picked up and put in his mouth, imagining it to be food. Such was their desperation due to hunger.

Eventually, compelled by these circumstances, the migration to Medina took place; the enemy did not leave him alone even in Medina and invaded the town. They tried to incite the Jews of Medina against him. Under the circumstances, which have just been briefly described, if war ensues and the victim has a chance for reprisal, and attempt is made to requite oppression with oppression; wouldn’t there be justification for it?  It is said that all is fair in war. However, our Prophet^sa established high standards of compassion and mercy even in these situations.

It had been a very short time that they had left the relentless persecution of Mecca, the memories of which were still raw and fresh; the Holy Prophet^sa was mindful of the pain of his followers more than his own pain, yet he did not breach the Islamic rules and regulations. He did not contravene his inherent high morals that constituted his teachings. Regarding this, in history, a narration has the following to inform us:

At the Battle of Badr, the spot where the Muslim troops had encamped was not very suitable. Hubab bin Mundhar inquired from the Holy Prophet^sa whether the choice of the area for encampment was by Divine revelation or he had chosen it himself from a strategic point of view. The Holy Prophet^sa replied that he has chosen it due to its elevation thinking it would be a good place strategically. It was submitted to him that it was not such a good area. They should head for the water spring and take control of it, and make a reservoir there. This way they would have access to water and the enemy would not. The Holy Prophet^sa accepted this counsel and they moved to that spot and encamped there. After a short while a few people of Quraish (the then persecutors of Muslims) came by to drink water, the Companions tried to stop them from getting the water. The Holy Prophet^sa refrained his Companions^ra to do so, and said, "Let them take water."

Such was the high standard of the character of the Holy Prophet^sa even when dealing with the enemy, who had totally blockaded even the food and drink of the Muslim children just a short while ago. Discounting all that, he did not stop the soldiers belonging to the enemy who had come to get water from the spring, which was under his control because this would have been beneath the moral code.

The biggest objection raised against Islam is that it was spread 'with the sword'. The people who had come for the water could have been put under duress for accessing the water and forced to accept their conditions. The pagans fought many battles in this manner. However, this is not what the Holy Prophet^sa did. It could be said here that maybe this step was taken to gain favour to avoid war because the Muslims were in a weak position. However, this was not the case. The bloodthirsty tendencies of the pagans of Mecca towards the Muslims were common knowledge to all Muslims, therefore no one ever entertained this vain imagination in particular, and there was no question that the Holy Prophet^sa would be under such an illusion. He did so because he was the very personification of compassion and kindness who upheld human values; because it was him indeed who was to give the teaching to appreciate these values. And these excellent attributes of his have been aptly described by Allah that:

انّك لعلى خلق عظيم

There is an incident of a non-Muslim who was an arch enemy of Islam who had received the death penalty. Not only was he pardoned by the Holy Prophet^sa, he was also given the freedom to practice his own religion while staying among the Muslims. His story is as follows:

‘Ikramah, son of Abu− Jahl, fought wars all his life with the Holy Prophet^sa. At the time of the victory of Mecca, despite the declaration of amnesty, he attacked some troops and caused bloodshed in the Ka‘bah. It was for his war crimes that he had been given the death penalty. Since, at that time, no one could stand up to the Muslims, therefore, after the victory of Mecca, he ran off towards Yemen to save his life. His wife sought forgiveness for him from the Holy Prophet^sa who most graciously pardoned him. She then followed her husband to fetch him back. ‘Ikramah could not believe that he had been pardoned despite the fact that he had meted out such cruelty, killed so many Muslims and was fighting till the last day, how could he be forgiven? However, she somehow managed to convince him and brought him back. When ‘Ikramah came in the presence of the Holy Prophet^sa he wanted to have confirmation of his clemency. On his arrival the Holy Prophet^sa made an amazing gesture of goodwill, and stood up as a mark of respect for him in his capacity as the leader of the enemy. On his asking he told ‘Ikramah that he had indeed pardoned him. ‘Ikramah inquired if his pardon was on the grounds that he stayed firm on his own faith? That he had not embraced Islam, and he still maintained his idolatrous stance, was he still forgiven? Confirmation of this by the Prophet^sa moved ‘Ikramah immensely and he cried out, 'O Muhammad^sa! Certainly, you are extremely forbearing, compassionate and benevolent to your kindred.' Seeing the miracle of the supreme civility and act of kindness of the Holy Prophet^sa ‘Ikramah embraced Islam.

This is the manner in which Islam was spread; with excellent manners and with freedom of conscience and religion. The act of supreme civility and freedom of religion with which a person like ‘Ikramah was treated got him smitten in a moment. The excellent treatment Holy Prophet^sa also afforded prisoners and slaves was a splendid one and like Ikramah, the prisoners’ and the slaves’ mind got enchanted with the beauty of the Prophet^sa’s high moral.

An incident about one of the prisoners is related as follows:

Sa’id bin Abi Sa‘id narrates that he heard Hadrat Abu Huraira say that when the Holy Prophet^sa sent an expedition to Najad, a person from the tribe of Banu Hanifa , named Thumamah bin Athal, was brought in as a prisoner. The Companions tied him to a pillar of the Prophet^sa's Mosque. The Holy Prophet^sa came to him and inquired, 'O Thumamah, what is your excuse or what do you think will be done with you?' He replied, 'I have a positive expectation. If you have me killed, you will be killing a murderer. If you show me goodwill, you will be, favouring a person who values kindness. If you want property you may have as much as you like.' His people could give property for him. The next day, the Holy Prophet^sa again came by and asked Thumamah what did he wish? He replied that he had already said the previous day that if a favour was bestowed on him it would be a favour on a person who valued kindness. The Holy Prophet^sa left him there. On the third day he returned and inquired, 'O Thumamah, What are your intentions?' He said that he had already said what he had to say. The Holy Prophet^sa ordered that Thumamah be freed. Thumamah went to a nearby date orchard and bathed there, he re-entered the mosque and recited the Shahadah and said, 'O Muhammad^sa by God I disliked your face the most in the world, but now it is so that your face is the most beloved to me. By God, I disliked your faith the most, but now it is so that my most beloved faith is the one you have brought. By God, I disliked your town the most, but now this is my most beloved town. Your horse-riders held me although I wanted to perform Umrah . What do you say about this?' The Holy Prophet^sa gave him the glad-tiding, congratulated him for accepting Islam and ordered him to perform Umrah , saying that Allah would accept it. When he reached Mecca someone asked him if he had become a Sabian. He replied, 'No, I have believed in Muhammad^sa, Prophet of God and by God, now not even grain of wheat shall come your way from Yamamah.

Another tradition relates that he was either beaten up or an attempt was made to beat him on which he had said that no grain would come and this would not happen until permission was given by the Holy Prophet^sa. As a result, he went back to his people, and the grain export was stopped. The situation got quite bad. Eventually Abu Sufyan took a plea to the Holy Prophet^sa saying that people were starving, and asked for some pity to be shown to his people. The Holy Prophet^sa did not say you would only get the grain if you accepted Islam. Rather, he promptly sent a message to Thumamah to stop the embargo as it was cruel. The young, the elderly, the sick needed food and it should be available for them.

Two major information are in here for us about how the Prophet^saw treated non-Muslims: Thumamah as non-Muslim prisoner; he was treated well and his request for mercy was granted not for him to convert but out of value for human dignity that was an inherent feature of the Prophet’s life. 2. The embargo that was placed on exportation of wheat from Yamamah to Mecca was lifted by the order of the Prophet^saw to Thumamah not because the persecutors of the Prophet relented but also out of the Prophet’s sheer kindness and compassion for humanity.

There is another example of the Prophet’s establishment of human values and of fairness to non-muslims.

‘Abdur Rahman bin abi Laila narrates that Sahl bin Hanif and Qais bin Sa‘d were sitting at a place called Qadsia when a funeral procession went by. They both stood up. When they were told that the funeral was that of a non-Muslim, they replied:

Once a funeral procession went by the Holy Prophet^sa who stood up as a mark of respect. He was told that it was the funeral of a Jew. To this the Holy Prophet^sa replied:

اَلَيْسَتْ نَفْساً

Was he not human?

Another tradition relates that at the victory of Khaybar some Muslims came upon some copies of Torah. The Jews went to the Holy Prophet^sa and requested that their Holy Books be returned to them. The Holy Prophet^sa directed the Companions to return the religious books of the Jews to them.

Despite the wrong attitude of the Jews for which they were being punished, the Holy Prophet^sa did not tolerate to even treat the enemy in a way that would have hurt their religious sentiments.

That was Muhammad^saw. The Holy Prophet^sa of Islam; the embodiment of mercy and compassion whose attributes are succinctly described in the Holy Quran that:

Surely, a Messenger has come unto you from among yourselves; grievous to him is that you should fall into trouble; he is ardently desirous of your welfare; and to the believers he is compassionate, merciful.

According to the Short Commentary of the Holy Quran edited by Malik Ghulam Farid, The verse seems to say: “It grieves the prophet^sa to see you (non-Muslims) fall into trouble, i.e., although you subject him to all manner of persecutions and privation, yet his heart is so full of the milk of human kindness that no amount of persecution on your part can make him bitter against you and make him wish you ill. He is so kind and sympathetic to you that he cannot bear to see you turn away from path of righteousness and thus put yourselves in trouble.”

Respected Chairman, dignitaries and my listeners, please permit me to end this humble presentation with few lines of Arabic Eulogy with which the Holy Founder of Ahmadiyya Muslim Community, Hadrat Mirza Ghulam Ahmad^as, the Promised Messiah and Imam of the Age, praises his Master, Muhammad Mustapha^saw. He writes in his books Aa’ina Kamalat-e-Islam:

 

اُرْسِلْتَ مِنْ رّبٍّ كَرِيْمٍ مُحْسِنٍ                               فِى الْفِتْنَةِ الصَّمّآءِ وَالطُّغْيَانِ

ياَلَلْفَتى مَا حُسْنُه وَجَمَالُه                                  رَيَّاهُ يُصْبِى الْقَلْبَ كَالرَّيْحَان

وَجْهُ المُهَيْمِنِ ظَاهِرٌ فِيْ وَجْهِه                             وَشُئُوْنُه لَمَعَتْ بِهذَاالشّاْن

فَلِذَا يُحَبُّ وَيُسْتَحقُّ جَمَالَه                              شَغَفاً^م بِه مِنْ زُمْرَةِ الْاَخْدَان

سُجُحٌ كَرِيْمٌ  بَاذِلٌ خِلُّ التُّقى                            خِرْقٌ وَّ فَاقَ طَوَائِفَ الْفِتْيَان 

فَاقَوَرى بِكَمَالِه وَجَمَالِه                                  وَجَلَالِه وَجَنَانِه الرَّيَّان

لاَ شَكَّ انَّ مُحَمّداً خَيْرُ الْوَرى                          رِيقُ الْكِرَامِ وَنُخْبَةُ الْاَعْياَن

تمّتْ عَليْه صِفَاتُ كُلِّ مَزِيَّةٍ                           خُتْمَتْ بِه نَعْمآءُ كُلِّ زَمَان

يا ربِّ صَلِّ عَلى نَبِيِّكَ دائماً                         في هذه الدُّنْيا وبعْثٍ ثان

 

(O Muhammad) You were sent by your Lord, the Noble, the Beneficent,

At a time when evil and vice deluged.

What a noble man! What a man of glory!

His breath smells like the fragrance of sweet basil.

The Protector (God) is visible in his face;

And all of his virtues shine in great glory.

That is why he is beloved. Indeed his beautiful virtues demand;

That he be adored to the exclusion of all.

Of noble character, revered, bounteous, friend of the God-fearing;

He excels all in the field of virtue.

In excellence and beauty, he surpasses all;

And in glory and cheerfulness of heart.

Without any doubt, Muhammad^sa is the best of the best—

A man of extreme generosity, the soul and strength of the nobles, the elect among the elite.

All noble virtues culminated in his person,

The blessings of all times reached their apex in him.

O my Lord, always shower blessings on your Prophet,

In this world and the next.

 I pray this little we have heard is added to our archives of knowledge about the Noble Prophet^sa for us to emulate and showcase in behaviour and attitude.

Thank you for having me. 

Child Upbringing: Islamic Perspective (Abridged Version)

Sources of information and knowledge in Islam are full of guidance on all fields of endeavour of man. And the art and science of Child Upbringing is not left out. ‘Precept upon precept’ is the way on how to rear, make grown and develop the children in Islam.

We all know that it will always be the joy of parents to have good and well behaved children. To be rewarded with such happiness, however, one needs to follow the rules, especially those of us who are still single and those who wants to go for second or third or fourth wife. Allah says:

ولا تنكحوا المشركات حتى يؤمنّ ولامة مؤمنة خير من مشركة ولو اعجبتكم ولا تنكحوا المشركين حتى يؤمنوا ولعبد مؤمن خير من مشرك ولو اعجبكم اولئك يدعون الى النار والله يدعوا الى الجنة والمغفرة باذنه ويبين اياته للناس لعلهم يتذكرون

And marry not idolatrous women until they believe; even a believing bond-woman is better than an idolatress, although she may highly please you. And give not believing women in marriage to idolaters until they believe; even a believing slave is better than an idolater, although he may highly please you. These call to the Fire, but Allah calls to Heaven and to forgiveness by His command. And He makes His Signs clear to the people that they may remember. Q2:222

At another place Allah says:

وَلاَ تُمْسِكُوْا بِعِصَمِ الْكَوَافِرِ

   …And hold not to your matrimonial ties with the disbelieving women… Q60:11

And yet in another place Allah says:

الخبيثات للخبيثين والخبيثون للخبيثات والطّيّبات للطيبين والطيبون للطيبات

Bad women are for bad men; and bad men are for bad women. Good women are for good men and good men are good women… Q24:27

And giving us explanation on this initial step of going into marital contract, the Prophet of Islam (saw) says:

تنكح المرأة لاربع لمالها ولحسبها ولجمالها ولدينها فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك- بخاري 

In marrying a woman, a man’s choice of a spouse is determined by the consideration of her wealth, her family and her physical beauty and her religious piety, but you should make thy life happy, prosperous and successful, by choosing a spouse, on account of her religious piety, otherwise thy hands will ever remain in dust.”

The stories of people of yore as narrated in the Holy Quran by Allah are full of glittering examples for us all. Effects of pious parents on children are before us all to behold, envy and struggle for. Hadhrat Abraham and his wives were upright; and Allah bestowed on them pious children. The pious family of Imran had pious daughter, Maryam the mother of Jesus.

Despite the piety of Hadhrat Nuh, and indeed, a Prophet of Allah, due to the waywardness of his wife, he lost his son to disbelief and destruction. And on the other hand, we read about a royal family that had access to every worldly convenience, yet the head of the family- Pharaoh- under whose roof Hadrat Moses was nursed and brought up, was an ardent disbeliever while his wife was a pious lady. The wife had positive impact on little Moses who later became a Prophet of Allah. The narratives are there for us all to read and learn from.

We should not forget that union of a man and a woman is to establish family through procreation. The definition of Marriage (Nikah) according to some Doctors of Islamic Jurisprudence sheds light on this.

اَلزّواَجُ اَوِ النِّكَاحُ كَمَا يُسَمّى فِي الشّرْعِ عَقْدٌ مَدَنِي لَفْظِيٌّ اَوْ خَطِيٌّ بَيْنَ رَجُلٍ وَامْرَاَةٍ بَالِغَيْنِ

 رَاشِدَيْنِ يَحْفِظَانِ بِهِ عَفَافَهُمَا وَصَلاَحَهُمَا ثُمَّ تُنْشَأُ مِنْهُ الْاُسْرَةُ

Marriage in Islamic Law is a civilized contract, verbal or written, between a matured and upright man and woman, to protect their virtue and righteousness and family is raised through it.

Hence, both man and woman should walk in the pious way of choosing good spouse with whom a pious family will be established. And those who have already established their own homes should take to principles of how to have pious family. The following verses shed more light on this subject:

فَلَيْسَ النَّبْتُ يَنْبُتُ فِيْ جِنَانِ

كَمِثْلِ النَّبْتِ يَنْبُتُ فِيْ فَلَاةٍ

وَهَلْ يُرْجى لِأَطْفَالِ كَمَالٌ

إِذَا ارْتَضَعُوْا ثُدِيُّ النَّاقِصَاتِ

 The plant that grows in an orchard; 

Is not like the plant that grows in the desert.

 Can perfection be hoped for children.

           When they have sucked the milk of imperfect women?

Hence the following warning:

تَخَيَّرُوْا لِنُطَفِكُمْ فَإِنَّ الْعِرْقَ دَسَّاسٌ

Choose where you’ll plant your semen. Surely, the human blood stream reproduces itself.

For Allah says

والبلد الطيب يخرج نباته باذن ربه والذي خبث لا يخرج الاّ نكدا كذالك نصرف

 الايات لقوم يشكرون

And as for the good land, its vegetation comes forth plentifully by the command of its Lord; and that which is bad, its vegetation does not come forth but scantily. (i.e the fruit will be scanty in both form and nutrient) In like manner do We vary the Signs for a people who are grateful. Q7:59

After having established the union; Islam guides that prayers should be offered at the time of consummating the marriage or at the time of going into the wife by the husband. The Prophet of Islam asserts:

لَوْ اَنَّ اَحَدُكُمْ اِذَا اَرَادَ اَنْ يَأْتِيْ أَهْلَهُ قَالَ: بِسْمِ اللَّهِ اَللّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ

 وَجَنِّبِ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا فَاِنْ يُقَدِّرْ بَيْنَهُمَا وَلَدٌ فِيْ ذَالِكَ لَمْ يَضُرَّهُ الشَّيْطَانُ اَبَدًا – متّفق عليه

If anyone who intends to go into his wife says, ‘In the Name of Allah. O Allah, keep us away from the devil and keep the devil away from what You have provided for us’, should it be ordained that a child be born to them thereby, no devil will ever harm it.

Should a child be decreed as said by the Holy Prophet; the responsibility of the mother increases. For her behaviour in every sense shall continue to have impact on the physical, moral and spiritual formation of the child right from the day of its being established in her womb. The prayer of Mother of Maryam the Mother Jesus briefly but comprehensively explains the greater responsibility of all pregnant believing women.

The Glorious Quran says:

اذ قالت امرات عمران رب اني نذرت لك ما في بطني محررا فتقبل مني انك انت السميع العليم  

Remember when the Woman of Imran said, ‘My Lord, I have vowed to Thee what is in my womb to be dedicated to Thy service. So do accept it of me. Verily, Thou alone art All-Hearing, All-Knowing. Q3:36

Either the unborn child will become a life devotee in the way of Allah or not, we should know that we have come to this world to serve our Creator. Therefore, there is need for this prayer to be on the tongue of every pregnant mother. We have read how the prayer was accepted by Allah the Merciful. He gave Lady of Imran Maryam and a grandson who rose to become a Prophet of Allah.

At this juncture, it is important to add that, at the critical stage of motherhood, when the wife is heavy, the husband should also not be found wanting. He must be supporting his wife physically, emotionally, morally and spiritually. The husband should remember his natural position in the formation and buildup of home. Allah says:

الرجال قوامون على النساء بما فضل الله بعضهم على بعض وبما انفقوا من اموالهم

Men are guardians over women because Allah has made some of them excel others, and because they (men) spend of their wealth. Q4:35

A little journey into Arabic dictionary should explain the implication of using the word – قوام (Qawwaam) in this verse of the Holy Quran. Almawrid Arabic to English Dictionary gives the following meanings to it: Caretaker, custodian, guardian, curator, keeper, supervisor, superintendent, support, infrastructure and backbone, among others. 

I believe these meanings should suffice in impressing on the mind of every husband, his responsibility at the time of carrying around of his baby by his wife and at all time in their matrimonial life.

When the mother is delivered of the baby, efforts of making him/her a good child that will be pride of family and humanity continue.

The second Head of Ahmadiyya Muslim Community, in his book, Way of the Seekers, highlights some twenty-six theories and principles of training a child to be morally sound, intellectually better than his/her peers and spiritually excellent. He names the theories Moral Training of the Child

1. As soon as a child is born, the first step towards its education is to proclaim Azaan into its ears.

2. A child should be kept neat and tidy, because unclean child will not have a clean mind.

3. A child should be fed at fixed hours. This will breed the habit of self-control and save it from a number of evils.

4. A child should be helped to form the habit of relieving nature at regular hours. This is very helpful for its health. But a greater benefit is that its limbs come to acquire a sense of punctuality.

5. Food should be served according to a prescribed measure. This will teach the child contentment and discourage gluttony.

6. A child should be given a variety of foods. It should have meat, vegetables and fruit, for dietary habits affect morals and a variety of food is necessary for a variety of morals.

7. As the child grows, it should be asked to do small tasks under the guise of play-acting. It should be asked to fetch a utensil, to replace or carry an object and do sundry other small tasks. But it should also have the time to play on its own.

8. A child should be allowed to acquire self-confidence as a matter of habit. For instance, if it wants to have an object which it has just seen, it should be told that it would get it at a certain time. Hiding the object is no solution, for it will imitate and try to hide things which will breed the habit of stealing.

9. A child should not be over-indulged. Too much petting or caressing leads to many vices. When such a child sits in society, it will expect to be fondled. This results in a number of moral evils.

10 Parents should be capable of self-sacrifice. Foods which are prohibited for an ailing child should neither be brought into the house nor should they be eaten by the parents. The child should be told that they are abstaining on his account. The child will thus learn the habit of self-sacrifice.

11. Extreme vigilance is required when a child is suffering from a chronic illness. Vices like cowardice, selfishness, peevishness, lack of emotional control, etc., are the result of illness. Even grown-ups become irritable during illness. Some ask others to sit with them. Others shout at passersby and say: Can you not see? Are you blind? In illness, the patient is allowed complete rest and full comfort which he slowly comes to regard as a right and wants to rest all the time.

12. Children should not be told tales of horror. This would make them cowards. When they grow up, they would do nothing brave. If a child exhibits a tendency towards cowardice, it should be told stories of courage and made to play with children who are brave.

13 A child should not be allowed to choose his own friends. This choice should be made by the parents. They should choose well behaved children as associates for their children. The parents too will benefit from this arrangement. They will come to know the parents of other children whom they have chosen as associates for their child. It will lead to a kind of inter-parent cooperation. Also when they choose playmates for their child, they will watch over their behavior.

14 A child should be assigned responsible jobs suited to its age. This will help create a sense of responsibility in the child.

15 Tell the child that it is nice and good. The Holy Prophet (on him be peace) said: Do not curse a child for when you curse, angels add: Let it be like that; and like that he becomes. Incidentally, this also means that angels are responsible for the consequences of actions. When you tell a child it is bad, it draws an imaginary picture in which it figures itself out as bad and does in fact become bad. Therefore, do not abuse a child. Praise it and teach it to be good.

16 A child should not be allowed to become obstinate. If it persists in being stubborn, its attention should be diverted to something else. Later, the cause of its obstinate behaviour should be traced and removed.

17 Address a child politely and courteously, for a child is a great mimic. If you address it rudely, it will return the compliment in kind.

Renford Bambrough (1963:414) writes on imitating nature of man:

Imitating is natural to human being from childhood onwards; man differs from other animals in being extremely imitative; his first steps in learning are made through imitation, and all people get pleasure from imitations.

Josiah Warren (1961:724) also writes:

Children are principally the creatures of example- Whatever the surrounding adults do, they will do…

18. Do not lie to a child nor be peevish or arrogant with it. It will certainly imitate you. It is the parents who teach a child lying.

19. Safeguard the child against all intoxicants. Intoxicants damage the nerves of the child. Consequently it becomes a liar. An addict becomes a blind imitator also and ceases to have a will of his own.

20. Stop children from playing in privacy.

21. Do not let them remain naked.

22. Teach them to admit their mistakes, as a matter of habit. For this the following methods would be found helpful:

a. Do not try to hide your own mistakes before a child.

b. Be sympathetic when it commits a mistake. Let it feel that the mistake is a kind of loss it has suffered. Hence, so much sympathy. Also let it feel that a particular mistake has resulted in a certain loss.

c. To guard against the repetition of a mistake, talk to the child in a manner that brings home to it the trouble its mistake has caused the parents. They could, for instance, pay for the loss its mistake is has caused. This will make it realize that the result of damaging things is not good. The doctrine of atonement is not valid but the method is useful for the training of a child.

d. If you want to reprimand a child, do not do it before others; do it in privacy.

Even though many of us make this mistake, but we should try as much as possible to correct our ways of handling this.

23. A child should be given a little money. This will teach it three virtues:

a. Charitableness.

b. Frugality.

c. Helping relatives.

For instance, if it has three coins, let it purchase some eatable with one coin and share it with other children. With the second coin, let it buy a toy and the third it should be asked to give in charity.

24. Children should also be given common ownership of some property. For instance, they should be given a toy and they should be told that it belongs to all of them that all should play with it and that no one should try to damage it. This would teach them to safeguard common property.

25. A child should be given constant guidance in matters of etiquette.

26. Due heed should be paid to physical exercise and stamina of a child. This would be helpful towards its moral education and progress in the world.

Readers, both the wife and the husband should always sacrifice to live in harmony either in the presence of the child or in his absence. In his presence, they should avoid quarreling. And above all, they should endeavour not to venture into divorce because divorce, as permissible as it is, it damages, it maims, it destroys, and leaves everlasting negative imprint on the life of the child. Only the Mercy of Allah can safe either of the two parties and or their children when home breaks.  

A Muslim Television Ahmadiyya program- Faith Matters, No. 107, as retrieved from www.youtube/alislam/mtaonline1, has the following to tell us on the need for harmony between husband and wife:

A peaceful existence at home leads to peaceful society…and children will be brought up in the best atmosphere… 

And last but not the least; we should not forget to pray all the time for our children.

Commenting on Surah Al-Fatiha in Al-Hakam, Aug. 31, 1901, The Promised Messiah^as, says:

Hold fast, therefore, to God above every good and every gain. Nothing can avail save Him alone. Were it not for His pleasure, children could turn against their parents…

May Allah enable us all to hearken and obey the Divine Voice of Reasons and Wisdom.

ربنا هب لنا من ازواجنا وذرياتنا قرة اعين واجعلنا للمتقين اماما

رب اوزعني ان اشكر نعمتك التي انعمت عليّ وعلى والدي وان اعمل صالحا ترضاه واصلح لي في ذريتي اني تبت اليك واني من المسلمين

Thank you for your attention.